Forgiveness

Maybe my legs are still little but they are fixed (the right one, with the help of the rush rod). They are straight, stable and beautiful. Not perfect. But they get me where I need to go. My heart has always been big. I love to love. But the new journey I have started, since finishing my last surgery, has continued to help my heart grow bigger. Hence why ‘Little legs. Big heart.’ shall live on.

With the stresses of work, recently I have begun to feel exhausted and burnt out. A twelve hour day just knocks me for a complete loop. Naturally, the stress gets to me and rather than find a healthy way to cope, I go the unhealthy route. Whether it be lack of exercise, poor eating habits or issues with self respect; we have all been there, right? Once I choose to not honor myself I begin to dig a nice little hole of “Whoa is me.” Gradually the hole becomes deeper and deeper until sadness and anger set in. Then I am in a never ending circuit of disrespect, sadness and guilt. Over and over and over. That is, until I choose to forgive myself.

Forgiveness is a funny thing. Sometimes we get trapped in a cycle of anger, sadness and pain, only to miss out on the beauty of life as it happens. Learn to let go. Forgive, move on and be happy. That is what I am currently working on. Grateful am I for an amazing teacher and my own inner strength to step to the edge and take a leap of faith in order to forgive myself.

To forgive yourself or someone else involves letting go and surrendering any judgment. With compassion, we can help ourselves and others become beings of love instead of hate. What I find most challenging is giving up the victim mentality and becoming triumphant over life’s struggles. If we look through our spiritual eyes, we can stop judging and truly forgive. If we stop resisting life so much, we will stop feeling like a victim.

One of my favorite new blogs to follow is called ‘Zen Habits’ and this was an entry that I read a while back.

Forgiveness can be exhibited in many ways and can be accomplished with or without the offender present. Below are some steps to consider when considering forgiveness.

1) Journal or write about your feelings, what happened and let it all out. This your personal experience so just put it all down in whatever manner makes you feel good! If you’re not a writer, find an objective person who can listen to you without giving their opinion unless it is asked for by you. Then talk it out. If you have spiritual connection to some greater power you can pray about it.

2) Look at your side of the event, disagreement, problem. How did you participate, do you have anything to “clean up”. “Clean up” means taking responsibility for your part in the issues, disagreement or problem. It is often helpful to look at how you may do things differently next time, so you can learn from this experience.

3) Consider if you are even willing to forgive yet. If not I would recommend that you take some steps to work through the underlying feelings you are still carrying around, such as anger, hurt or a myriad of other emotions. If you are unwilling go back to step 1 and repeat until you feel willingness beginning to emerge.

4) Make the decision to forgive anyone involved in the situation. Don’t forget yourself if you need it too. Decide if you need to say or write anything to anyone involved to get your feelings out and be heard. The person you are forgiving does not need to be willing or present for you to complete this process. You can ask an objective person to be on the receiving end if you don’t feel safe or comfortable going to the person who you are upset with. You can visualize that you are speaking to that person when you are speaking to a friend or objective listener.

5) Let go! Keep in mind you are choosing to forgive, if you are holding on to a belief that the other person has to do something before you’ll forgive you are choosing to remain stuck. If you find situations re-stimulating the old feelings of hurt you may need to repeat Step 1.

Amen to that. And as with everything in life, it becomes a process. This won’t happen overnight. My efforts for forgiveness have begun with my daily intentions. This morning I took the most wonderful yoga class. My intention: forgiveness. Baby steps can make a BIG difference.

Love.

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