Mirror, Mirror

Practice is progress. I’ve said it a million times and I will continue to say it because it’s true. Tonight confirmed that phrase for me on a physical level more than anything else. During this last surgery I had visions of myself running on new legs. After the frames came off and I began my rehabilitation it became clear to me that maybe running wouldn’t ever be in the books for me. There was a long period of time where I became so down on myself and actually hated my legs. (That sounds so horrible after everything I have been through but I’m just being honest.) Through coaching, my thoughts began to change and rather look at what I couldn’t do I began to focus on what I could do. I have two legs that function. That’s more than what some people do have and I began to give gratitude for my two straighter, functional legs. Over the past few months I have gotten stronger and stronger. During the kick-ass spinning classes at the Wellness Center I can actually stand up out of the saddle. That has never happened before. The first time I did it, I actually squealed in the middle of class. Happiness!

So tonight I went to a pop-up detox body class being put on by one of my coaches and dearest friends Elli Boland. She and close friend/vibrant manifestor Ashley led an amazing detox workout, meditation and group discussion. Usually with these kinds of group workouts I get very uncomfortable surrounded by girls with bodies that I once dreamed of being in. My competitive nature can cause me to over do it and push myself too hard only to be in more pain rather than euphoric from the adrenaline. The other thing that really gets me, mirrors. I have always had a hard time looking at myself in a mirror let alone watching myself sweat alongside fit, athletic yogis who make it look so easy. So tonight when I walked into class only to find the room full of mirrors, I panicked. Holy shit.

My mat was conveniently placed away from the ginormous floor to ceiling mirror and the others I just ignored. Laying in child’s pose with my forehead to the mat I made a promise to myself; I was going to listen to my body and overdoing it was not an option. For 75 minutes, I did just that. Maybe I couldn’t jump or balance on one leg perfectly but I sweat and kicked some ass; even managed a few smiles here and there, that’s how good it felt.

With all of the dedication to my health and well-being, I saw so much improvement in my strength and endurance. It all came together for me at the end of class when Elli came over to me, put her hands on my shoulders and said how amazing my body stood up to the workout. For someone who I admire so much to notice these little changes of progress was HUGE. I got goosebumps.

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who has made some amazing progress little legs and all? Me.

Love.

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