Today I learned that sometimes you just need to stop, find that silver lining and make peace with what is right now, in the moment. That sounds so easy but it really isn’t, I know. For weeks there has been ongoing construction in the lot next door to my apartment. Usually that wouldn’t be a huge deal to me. However, this week I have been straight nights at work which means I live the life of a vampire; sleep during the day and up all night. Initially I had a HUGE problem accepting the fact that I was a rotating position and would have to work the night shift. Through practice of changing my thoughts I learned to accept my rotating position and now enjoy working my 7P-7A shifts for the most part. That was until the construction got out of hand. Power saws, hammers, backhoes and blaring music have now kept me from getting a decent (days) sleep. After working Tuesday night, I got home Wednesday morning and all I wanted to do was sleep. Well that wasn’t in the books for me because the workers outside my window had every power tool they could find. What a ruckus. I made a couple more attempts throughout the course of the day to try and at least take a nap. No go. The workers left around 8PM that night and I finally found myself with some peace and quiet. But of course my body was now resisting sleep all together, yay. For two hours I tossed and turned, becoming more and more frustrated with my lack of sleep. Around one o’clock I finally relaxed enough and sleep and I found each other. Four hours later, I was wide awake. My frustration level rose even higher. There was no way that four hours of sleep was all that I needed. By 8AM I was awake; exhausted, sad and frustrated knowing I had to return to work tonight.
Well thank heaven I had my daily empowerment coaching session with Jessica this morning. That’s where my silver lining comes in. Immediately upon pulling into her driveway I realized that I had left my journal and energy exchange (J’s check) at home. The tears started flowing the minute I walked through the front door and she greeted me with the most wonderful hug. Immediately I owned my forgetfulness, rather than make excuses and apologized for forgetting my things. Then we got down to business; also known as, Kristen cries non-stop for five minutes about my lack of sleep etc. etc. Rather than jump on the chair and soothe me with a hug, Jess pushed a box of tissues closer to me and said, “I hear you.” Now you may immediately think to yourself that such a thing is not comforting but for me it is. I have learned discipline rather than rescuing. For Jess to say, “I hear you,” I know that it is coming from her heart without judgement. Allowing me to cry and just feel the anger and sadness that I was experiencing made me feel better almost instantly.
Over the course of our hour together I realized that I have the power to change my perceptions. Yes, maybe my current situation sucks but the more I resist it, the worse that it is going to be. Acting as a victim and constantly having a “whoa is me” attitude will just continue to make the situation worse. By accepting what is, the noise and conditions non-conducive to my daytime sleeping, I can be relaxed rather than resistant and get the rest that I need. Before leaving her house Jess handed me an Amethyst and a paper explaining that such a small talisman can help with stress and insomnia (go figure). Grateful for our time together, my new tools and a few more AmAzInG hugs, I left her house feeling lighter but still very tired.
Once home, I let go of my resistance and negative thoughts, cried out of gratitude for having such a wonderful person in my life and began to focus on my breathing. Three hours later I woke up still holding the Amethyst that I had fallen asleep with. Even though it was only three hours it was the best sleep I’d had in awhile. My attitude did a 180 and I was ready for my night on 7 East.
Here I sit, smile on my face, grateful for finding the silver lining, my job and the amazing people in my life. Self-empowerment, hello, my name is Kristen 🙂