Be True. Be You.

No words could be more true.

It’s hard to believe that it is already the middle of July. Whaaat? Time really does fly. It seems to me that ever since I was able to grasp the concept that the past is our past and we can never go back physically (only look), I realized that life is short.

The realization came shortly after my first surgery. Around 13 years old or so? I can remember back to a day where I thought to myself that all I wanted to do was get through the first procedure. As in, snap my fingers and ‘POOF’ be in the future with no fixators or pain. Closing my eyes I hoped and prayed that time would fly by for the next few months. Even though I knew that all of the pain and frustration was going to be worth it in the end, it wasn’t what I wanted right then.

Well wouldn’t you know that I look back on that moment today and just wish I could go back and pick little ole’ me up and shake some sense into her!? Time has f  l o w n by. May I emphasize the word ‘flown’ with some serious attitude?

All I want now is for time to slow down. To be able to enjoy the littlest of moments. (Like right now, I am able to sit at work in a little hidden corner with one of my coworkers and listen to all the other nurses on our floor laughing and enjoying the ease of the night; because it rarely happens).

We can’t dwell on what happened in the past. Just like I can’t feel bad about not taking the time to enjoy all of the experiences that I had during the four years that I was undergoing the lengthening surgeries; good and bad. Lucky for me, I did take away many memories from those four years and continue to learn from what I do remember. 

So now? No matter what I am feeling; happiness, anger, sadness, fear, pain, joy, etc. I force myself to live it and not wish it away. Constantly I am asking time to slow down. There is always a lesson to be learned and something to be grateful for. Maybe in the moment I am in pain and it hurts to walk but I am here and I am walking. The hurt is tolerable and it WILL get better.

Take the time. Count your blessings. Be true and be no one but you.

(Thank you me for that wonderful reminder. I needed that!)

Love.

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