A dear friend posted this quote via Facebook this morning and then it resurfaced during yoga.

“You cannot get sick enough to help sick people get better. You cannot get poor enough to help poor people thrive. It is only in your thriving that you have anything to offer anyone. If you’re wanting to be of an advantage to others, be as tapped in, turned in, turned on as you can possibly be.” -Esther Abraham-Hicks

After reading it slowly and allowing it to sink in, not only did it make so much sense that it nearly scared me but I was able to draw multiple connections in several aspects of my life and recent events.

The biggest one that hit close to home? How am I ever going to be an advantage to others when I am literally allowing others to take advantage of me. Right?!

Well it’s been happening, until last Wednesday when I finally stood up for myself. Let me tell you, it was and continues to be extremely uncomfortable. Standing up for yourself, uncomfortable? As silly as it sounds, it’s also true. Seriously, probably one of the hardest things that I have done in a very long time.

How people view me doesn’t typically matter in my book. It’s a reflection of them, not me. So when I get the occasional rude comment, stare or snicker, I am able to brush it off and move on or wallow for a hot second and then brush it off and move on. These incidents I expect to happen in public but over the past few months they have been occurring in a place where I deserve to feel safe. That was where I drew the line.

After it was all said and done and I took the proper course of action to resolve the situation, I felt relieved and maybe even a little proud of myself. But those feelings were soon over shadowed by guilt and sadness. Soon enough I was more preoccupied with how the person at the other end of the equation was going to be affected.

Grateful am I to have some amazing people in my life who turned my frown upside down. Their justifications were helpful and appreciated. Until this morning, they were the only things keeping me going.

>>Enter fun little quote<<

After yoga and the events of the morning I came home and really sat with the meaning of what Esther Hicks was saying. Then it hit me. [One] of my biggest passions in life is to help others. But how in the world is that possible if I’m not even comfortable with standing up for myself. The two ends weren’t quite matching up. So I got to thinking that there is a little equation to this whole defending yourself thing…

1. Love YOU.

For as long as I can remember I have been critical of myself, thinking that I had to make up for being different. I had it in my head that if I became who they wanted me to be then they would like me. My parents didn’t exactly have a class clown on their hands (you’re welcome mom and dad) but I did allow myself to become somewhat of a doormat. In order to please everyone else I allowed them to stomp all over me. I would do anything for anyone. Let me tell you, that shit is exhausting and it’s certainly not worth it. Unfortunately, it took a little while for me to realize that not everyone will like me (and not everyone will like you) but BIG WHOOP. Don’t pretend to be someone your not just to appease others. Genuinely be yourself, it is much more appreciated when someone shares their individuality with the world.

No guess what happens when you 1. Love YOU and 2. Be YOU? Wait for it… Yes… You can…

3. Stand Up for YOU.

When you can love yourself and be yourself need to stand up for yourself is easier to recognize. Ultimately it is your life, and you’re usually the only one that will genuinely defend you. So don’t let someone take advantage of you and don’t allow others to sway YOUR opinion, or influence a decision that impacts YOUR life. Stop being a doormat. Put the fear aside. Start doing things for YOU. Speak your mind. Remember, your being matters and remember you deserve to feel loved and respected just like everyone else.

Tap in. Tune in. Turn on.

Love. Love. Love.