Speaking My Truth

I’m sure that you’ve heard of “Little People Big World” and “The Little Couple” before. Both are tv shows featuring little people that aired on TLC. In fact, I think that “The Little Couple” is still running. I never really followed either show but I do know that they were positive programs – meaning that living with short stature was not cast in a negative light on the show.

Recently, I have been asked or shall I say, told, by many strangers that I am one of the women from the latest tv show craze, “Little Women LA.” Even when I insist that they are mistaken, they look at me like I am crazy. Anyway, after the third time that I was mistaken for one of these little women, I became curious and looked it up online. Let’s just say, I’m not impressed with what I have found. To put it bluntly, it is a risque, ‘little’ version of the real housewives. At first I was angry to be put in the same category as these women. All of the heart that I have put into my fight to be accepted for who I am seemed to wither and die right in front of my eyes. But then I remembered that their decisions have nothing to do with me.

Well wouldn’t you know that I got this email last week…

Hi there!
I am a casting associate for a production company in Los Angeles. We are looking for a single LP, who is looking for love, for a new series on a major cable network. The show explores the stories of unique people finding love, and/or unique ways people go about finding it. If you are interested, I would love to speak to you more about it over the phone. Is there a number where I could reach you for a brief phone interview?
Thank you.

Almost immediately, my mind created the story that this person just wanted to talk to me because I have short stature. Because portraying my ‘unique’ dating story on national television would be entertainment for society at my own expense.

Stop it, Kristen. Seriously, just STOP.

Judgment was flying all over the place. My own judgment. Easy does it tiger – I literally had to give myself a reality check.

The reality was that I knew nothing. This person was asking me if I was interested. I was being given the option. So this afternoon, as I was sitting on my porch, I said, “F@*K IT,” and in promising myself to speak my truth, I made a phone call.

The woman I spoke to, Michelle, was very nice and simply explained that they were looking for ‘unique’ people who were in search of love. So then the questions began, “Are you single?” I’m pretty sure I sighed quite loudly with my affirmative response. Then she asked me if I was looking for love. My instinct was to dish her an immediate ‘YES’ but I waited and thought about what my truth was…

Am I looking for love? Yes. But, honestly, I’m not going to find it until I literally fall head over heels in love with myself. (That was my answer and at first I thought that she hung up thinking I was a complete nut job.) But instead she responded, “I’ve never thought about it like that and I agree.”

We continued to talk about my condition, my surgical history and what I believe in. There I was, sitting on my front porch, speaking my truth to a complete stranger on the phone and I loved every second of it.

Love is all around me. One day, when the time is right, I will find someone who sees my being different as beautiful both inside and out.

For now, I’m focusing on me. Continuing to remove the judgments that I have and replacing them with love.

Stop judging. Start Loving.


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