Words.

Lately, they’ve been everything for me. In ways that are both positive and negative; coming from myself and others.

Spoken or thought, verbiage is both armor and weaponry depending on how we choose to use it.

Rudyard Kipling said, “I am by nature, a dealer in words, and words are the most powerful drug known to humanity.” Amen, sir. A-freaking-men. I’ll take words over Tylenol any day.

One month from today, though I wish it was sooner, I will be going under the knife. (Yes, again.) With all of the downsides of another surgery, I am also surrounded by positives. My will to smile and laugh despite the immense amount of physical pain I’m experiencing. Being surrounded by people; my Paley Institute family, who understand to a degree not many can and are always here to help. I am giving everything I possibly can to healing myself.

Back in May, it seemed like a spinal fusion was the solitary fix to my spinal stenosis. However, with each passing month, it has required more and more attention from my myself, my surgeon and physical therapist. It’s been a bit of a burden for everyone, really; my family included. There are days that I feel numb from the constant battle. Still, I find comfort in knowing that I am not alone in any of this.

This brings me back to the power of words. In an effort to bring myself constant reminders, I have little messages written on the various mirrors in my house. They include but are not limited to:

>>—>Little Legs Big Heart (my mantra)
>>—>You CAN and You WILL
>>—>No expectations, only possibilities
>>—>You Got This

There is reason behind why we say what we do. Words hold so much meaning. Lately, they have fueled my confidence and can shine a little light on a day I am struggling to get through. It’s been something as simple as my surgeon saying, “I believe in you.” To one of the PAs ending her response to my long list of questions with, “We’ve got this.” And a friend telling me, “I’m here to listen.”

Simple words acting as analgesics.

The way through any challenge is with intuition. Dig deep into our knowing that the future is bright. If I’m really stuck, and I have been in all aspects of my life it seems, I take a step back. Breathe. Reconnect to my heart. Remember my ‘why’ and press on. Writing words down is a great outlet for me. Sometimes I wake up in the morning to notes I have made in my phone when I can sleep. It’s fair to say I have at least five journals spread throughout my tiny apartment – not to mention books that I have underlined and highlighted. In dire circumstances, I will clutch a book to my chest and ask aloud, “what do I need to know right now?” Then I open up to a random page and nine times out of ten, the words speak directly to me.

When we put weight into our words, they become our reality. So, put weight into what you need to hear from yourself. Positive thinking and speaking is often met with positive doing.

You got this. We got this.

Love.