Looking Up (and Over)

There is something to be said about looking up. Most of us are so absorbed in our own thoughts that we don’t take that little bit of time to stop looking at the ground when we walk. When was the last time you looked up?

This past weekend I was coming back from a glorious day/evening on the beach and per my usual commute over the bridge I was looking forward, eyes on the road like a good driver. For some reason I all of the sudden found it necessary to look up as I was passing underneath the arches of the bridge. It was so beautiful. All of the times that I have gone over that bridge even as a passenger and I have never taken the time to just glance upwards.

The same goes for moments in life when you find things are getting tough; we look down. Down to the ground and down on ourselves. Many times, it only takes one event or trigger to cause our being down. Once there, it seems so difficult to look up, at least for me. Recently, working nights has just thrown me of kilter completely. For the nights I don’t work, I wake up at three in the morning starving and constantly want to nap during the day. Sleep is hard because of the construction next door which makes me one cranky individual. My ‘To-Do” list has now grown exponentially. Since I am only subletting in the apartment I am in, I must move out in June. Finding a place to live in my price range has not proven to be an easy task either. Trust me, I could go on but I won’t bore you. Complaining isn’t my point, I know that everyone has their own story, all their own crap to deal with. We also have choice points.

This morning I was standing at the bottom of a ‘bridge’ (pun intended). Stick with me here πŸ™‚ I woke up and felt like I had zero energy. After a somewhat sleepless night, the last thing I wanted to do was conquer the tasks that I had to do. After a session with Jess, who always manages to put things into perspective, I realized that I had a choice. Yes, I was in a shitty situation but I could do something about it. My first choice was to go and seek the help and guidance that Jess gave me. After an hour of talking (and tears, plenty of them) I felt SO much better. Taking baby steps, I set out to get some things done. Equipped with an attitude of gratitude for the things that I did have in that moment, my day began to improve; one thing at a time. Oil change: check. Prescription filled: check. Important info faxed to dad: check.

Things were looking up and I was starting that climb to a happier, brighter day. When I got home and checked my work schedule I was surprised and thrilled to see that I don’t have to pull four straight twelve hour shifts in a row beginning tomorrow night. What a weight off my shoulders. I felt so grateful that I called Jessica and told her how much better my day had gotten. Then I made another phone call, one that was a little harder to make. My parents have done nothing but stand by my side and help me in any way that they can. Just because I am cranky from lack of sleep doesn’t give me the right to be short or rude with them, which I have been lately. So I got off my high horse and called my mom to apologize for my behavior. Huge sigh of relief.

Attitude, choices, faith. So many things have come into play for me today. Words can’t describe the gratitude I feel for the people in my life who continue to give me guidance. The day ended with a wonderfully sweaty, kick-ass spinning class by my friend Dan. My bike ride home, I took a different, more scenic route and took the time to look up every now and then. Architecture, flowers, birds and even a few familiar faces on the street. I made it over the bridge that loomed in front of me this morning.

a little something on attitude given to me by a co-worker the other night at work

Stay in control. Give love and gratitude every chance you get. Don’t forget to look up πŸ™‚

Love.

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