Recently I realized something; some people view my condition and life events as limiting or ‘unfortunate.’ That is the complete opposite of how I see it and the last thing that I want is someone to pity me for what I have been through. I see living life as a little person empowering. Difficult at times, yes, but I have never known anything different.A wise person once told me:
This week I had a Dr.’s appointment for my pre-operative check-up. The doctor looked at my legs and said, “Must be tough.” At first I was a little confused and then I assumed that he was referring to all of my scars. But what exactly did he mean when he said it? Naturally I just kind of shrugged my shoulders and told him at times yes but overall, not really. Even though I acted like I brushed it off, I couldn’t help but think about it the rest of the day. Do medical professionals usually speak to their patients that way? This was the first time I had ever met the guy so we definitely weren’t on that ‘buddy, buddy’ level yet.
Of course I thought about it this entire week and began an emotional shift downwards. Obviously this downward shift was obvious because people noticed just by the energy I was giving off I suppose. All the energy I had was going towards the one sentence spoken by a person I barely knew. Rather than use that energy to build myself up and send love, it was tearing me apart. Until today, of course.
Awareness. Acceptance. Adjustment.
Rather than just accept that he was making an observation that had nothing to do with me but everything to do with his thoughts and judgements, I did the complete opposite. I knew better then and I know better now. But instead of just saying this I am embodying it. That way it becomes contagious 🙂 Words are unnecessary next to your actions. Everyone around you can feel your energy without you opening your mouth.
My energy is positive. I accept who I am and what I have gone through. What people see, they don’t know half the story. Pitying isn’t my thing, I choose courage. The courage to become aware of the situation, accept it for what it is and adjust my thoughts and actions to build me up.
That being said, I am currently preparing to depart for my final surgery in West Palm Beach. Tomorrow I will begin my drive. But there is an exciting event that shall occur between Charleston and West Palm Beach. We’ll call it a ‘leap of faith.’ More on that to come…