There is conflict in my heart. Regret. Sadness.
Today I worked a shift at the hospital sitting in as secretary. It’s one of my favorite things to do because I am right in the middle of everything; talking to coworkers, patients and their families. Totally immersed in my element.
Though it happens – staring, comments, laughing – it doesn’t happen very often. Well tonight was one of those nights. I was tested.
Completely caught up in making a chart for a new patient, one of my coworkers was explaining discharge instructions to another patient’s family at the nurses station. Initially I was unaware of the group of siblings gathered just beyond the desk until I heard it.
“Oompa Loompa doopity doo…” and then laughter until it started again. That’s when I could feel eyes on me. I kept my head down.
That’s when the conflict started. Do I ignore them? Do I say something?
As they walked past where I was sitting, I simply looked up and said, “Have a good night.” Although shocked at first, they just looked at me and continued to snicker as they walked off the floor.
Yes, it hurt. What hurts even more is that I regret not standing up for myself.
So now what? Do I dwell on the past. No. What’s done is done. At least that is what I will continue to tell myself.
My light is still shining. I refuse to let kids and their ignorance dim it. Not today, not tomorrow. Never.
But for next time: face everything and avoid nothing. That’s my motto.